Discover The True Reason Why We Love Self-Care
Let’s talk about self-care. I don’t know about you, but as the months and seasons change, so do I.
Although the mission stays the same, the topics and messages vary.
But isn’t that the point?
There’s this notion out there in today’s world that self-care is the next Holy Grail, and we must practice self-care.
“If we don’t love ourselves, why would we care for ourselves?”
There is some truth to this. Yes, we do have to take care of ourselves, but self-care is not the foundation to which we build a life upon. Actually, it’s only a piece of the overall big picture.
Self-care is not bubble baths and facial masks.
Self-care is not brunch with besties and popping bubbly.
Self-care is not a gallon of ice cream and Netflix.
Self-care is a byproduct of love.
Self-love is ugly and messy. Self-love is painful and scary. Self-love is full of lessons and disappointments. But when we push beyond the discomfort and ugliness it brings forth, on the other side we receive an abundance of love, joy, peace, happiness, and true self, and this is where true self-care begins.
I talk a lot about self-care and self-love, but I want to delve deeper into what self-care is. But let me first start by explaining what self-care is NOT.
Self-care is not about the fluff we see buzzing around social media or girls’ trips filled with shopping, manis & pedis, and whatever health and beauty routine they cram into their tightly packed schedule.
Self-care is actually… wait for it… caring for self. Yep. Nothing fancy. It’s that simple.
As humans, we love to overcomplicate the simplest things in life.
When something feels forced, mandated, or out of the ordinary, this is a good indication that something is “off,” and one should take a closer look as to why.
Let’s do that, shall we?
Firstly, not everyone’s version of self-care is the same. Doing what you see others do is not lateral and doesn’t translate to a uniform daily self-care routine. Nothing in life is “one-size-fits-all,” so please do yourself a favor and stop trying to make it fit you. You and the person next to you have different needs, even if you have many things in common. What will help someone may actually be a burden to you and vice versa.
Secondly, the answers to the ‘why’ question vary depending on whom we make a priority, whom we place above ourselves, whose needs we put above ourselves. For many it’s others, and we are lucky enough if we have some crumbs or fumes left over for ourselves
For many of us, feeling depleted and empty, we turn to others to see what they’re doing to fill their cups so, you too can do more with your time and self. Unfortunately, we get distracted, comparing, and trying out new methods and forms of self-care, to find that all we accomplished is adding more “things” to our overstocked plates.
So maybe, just maybe, it’s not about adding but subtracting from our plates. What do I mean by this? We can do less to do more. We can reduce stress, fuel more joy, create happiness, and cultivate love.
Do more for yourself and less for others. That sounds pretty selfish, doesn’t it? Hear me out. When we fill our cups (self) internally with all that we seek externally, we spring a well of abundance. No amount of outside gains can do this. Let’s take a step further and remove the idea of self-care altogether and start with, and by creating a solid foundation, one a well can flourish from, a foundation built on love.
With love, there is no need to “do”; it’s an act within itself.
When we love ourselves completely, it pours out of our cups and into others, and the well of love never runs dry when we are caring for ourselves and others. Self-care is a byproduct of self-love. If we don’t love ourselves, then why would we be we willing to care for ourselves? The same holds true for anything in life. If you don’t love your job, are you going to care about what happens when you’re off the clock? If you don’t love what you have, are you going to care for it? If you don’t love your clothes, are you going to treat them with care?
In the examples, these are all disposable things, and material possessions, but isn’t that how we’ve essentially been treating and viewing ourselves? As something, not someone who needs to be cared for? What if we flipped the script and viewed self-care, not as a task, chore, or must-do but a way to upkeep and care for what you love—yourself.
Loving ourselves is the highest form of self-care.
It is not the foundation to which we build ourselves upon. Love is.
Now that we have an overview of what self-care means let’s see how it really looks and why it matters.
The act of self-care can be ugly, messy, uncomfortable, painful, and at times, prideful.
But it’s about getting real, raw, and honest with yourself. It’s about doing what you don’t want to because you have to.
It’s about owning who you are and whose you are.
It’s about speaking your truth when you faced with backlash and consequences.
It’s about falling down more times than you get up.
It’s about believing in yourself when others doubt you.
It’s about being bold, brave, and courageous.
It’s about setting and holding firm boundaries.
It’s about saying no to anything not aligned with you and your purpose.
It’s about preserving yourself because you are worth it.
It’s about respecting yourself when others don’t.
It’s about pursuing the goals, dreams, and visions you’re called to create.
It’s about waking up early, staying up late because you have a higher calling.
It’s about making sacrifices because you believe in yourself.
It’s about asking yourself tough questions you once avoided with others.
It’s about not wasting time or money on those who weigh you down.
It’s about taking full responsibility for your actions/reactions.
It’s about letting go of the past, lies, excuses, beliefs, and stories.
It’s about redefining who you are and who you’re created to be.
It’s about giving yourself grace; you will mess up.
It’s about being consistent time and time again.
It’s about showing up for yourself, no matter what.
It’s about knowing and doing the right thing, always.
It’s about letting go of other people’s opinions.
It’s about feeding your body, mind, and soul with nourishment.
It’s about living and leading a purpose-driven life.
It’s about being grateful for all EVERYTHING.
It’s about choosing to see life from a new and positive perspective.
It’s about serving, doing, giving, helping others.
It’s about asking and receiving help; you are not meant to do life alone.
It’s about knowing what you’re worth, what you deserve, and not settling for less.
It’s about you being and giving your best. Every. Single. Day.
It’s about caring for yourself, because you love yourself, whole-heartedly, completely, and unconditionally.
Because you are loved. You are love. You matter. You are worth it.
All love starts and ends with you. Remember, “the amount of love you have for yourself is the amount of love you have to give and are willing to accept from others.”
To partner with others in pursuing true self care, join us in The Confident Woman Collective
And read here about something that can really enhance your self-care journey, Meditation.