Are You Struggling to Share In Someone’s Joy? Pretend.
Nothing sucks more than when you’ve worked so hard, prayed so hard, or put your self out there, sharing your wins, successes, accomplishment, or answered prayers and someone comes along and bursts your (high) bubble with their somber (self-centered) poor me attitude. It’s crushing and defeating. And makes you feel like somethings wrong with you; broken, defective, or simply not enough.
The pain and memories of how this makes you feel, you will always remember.
And the next time you want to share in your next moments of joy, you don’t. You remember how that turned out last time you’ve vulnerably expressed. Hoping others can root for you, not against you. And this memory gets filed away in the “pain” category.
A piece of you hardens to protect yourself from getting hurt again.
You question others opinions and begin to doubt yourself. Maybe they’re right. Maybe this isn’t a good idea. Maybe this was a stupid plan. Maybe that’s why your prayers took forever to be answered. Maybe…just maybe…what if…if only. Screw it! I’m not doing that again.
So the next time something awesome happens, you hold yourself back. You play small by diminishing your joy. You settle and miss out on the wonders and excitement. You dim your shine for the sake of others.
But nothing sucks more than when your joy bubble bursts by those you love and trust. Being on both sides of this (sharing and receiving), I can say first hand; it doesn’t feel good!
Sometimes we aren’t aware we’re dimming someone’s light because our pain is too bright that we can’t see past it. Sometimes we think we’re doing someone a favor by protecting them. Sometimes their joy triggers “comparison” and dings our own ego (why couldn’t I?).
So the next time someone comes to you, beaming with joy and excitement, even if it triggers a pain point in you, remember, this isn’t about you. It’s not your time to time. Let them have their moment and share with them all you *wished* for in yourself. And if you can’t do that without “suffering” the least you can do is pretend.