When You’re Tired of Carrying It All
I have a name for the version of myself who shows up when I’ve been running on empty for too long.
I call her Over Girl.
She’s the part of me who’s overworked, overstressed, overwhelmed, over-responsible, and honestly, just over it. She shows up when the routines that used to ground me start feeling like another thing to manage, when the smallest interruption feels heavier than it should, and when I find myself reaching for the old version of Rachel because at least I knew what to do with her.
That version of me knew how to push through. She knew how to figure it out, carry the weight, keep the business moving, keep the family steady, keep the podcast going, keep the faith, keep the smile, and make it all look more together than it actually felt on the inside.
For a long time, I thought that was strength.
I thought if I felt exhausted, I needed better discipline. If I felt disconnected, I needed a better routine. If I felt overwhelmed, I needed better systems. If I felt behind, I needed to get focused again and make myself catch up.
And while I still believe in discipline, stewardship, structure, consistency, and responsibility, I’ve also had to tell myself the truth.
Sometimes the system isn’t the problem. Sometimes the woman trying to carry the system is the one who’s exhausted.
That’s the part I’ve been living through in real time, especially after the tragic and traumatic death of my father and, more recently, nearly losing my mom. And while those losses brought so much to the surface, I’ve also had to admit something deeper.
It’s never just one thing that breaks a woman. Most of the time, she was already carrying more than anyone could see.
There were already cracks. There were already places where I was tired, and there were already patterns I’d normalized because I knew how to function inside of them. Then loss came in and exposed what had already been under pressure.
That’s what hard seasons do. They don’t always create the breaking. Sometimes they reveal what’s been quietly creaking and breaking for a long time.
And when that happens, the old ways don’t always work anymore.
The habits that helped you survive one season may not be enough to carry you into the next one. The version of you who knew how to hold everything together may not be the version of you who knows how to heal, receive, rest, rebuild, or become someone new.
And normal can be dangerous when it’s slowly costing you yourself.
This week, I sat down with Annie Yatch, CEO of Reinvention XO, creator of The Authority Shift, and a former counterterrorism analyst turned elite performance coach for high-level leaders, CEOs, and women who are carrying more than anyone sees. Our conversation went straight into over-functioning, burnout, receiving, reinvention, and what happens when the strategies that used to work no longer fit the woman you’re becoming.
And while that conversation opened the door, this letter is really about you.
It’s about the places where you’ve been carrying your life from an identity that no longer fits. It’s about the pressure you’ve accepted as normal because you’ve been strong for so long. It’s about the version of success you’re still chasing, even though some part of you already knows it isn’t giving you the freedom you thought it would.
This is where striving starts costing more than it gives back.
I’m also beginning to realize that some of these stories need more room than this weekly newsletter is meant to hold.
The Confident Woman Weekly has always been a place for reflection, encouragement, and a next step. But there are parts of this rebuilding season that need more breathing room. The behind-the-scenes pieces, the journal pieces, and the parts that are still unfolding while I’m living them out in real time.
So I’m starting to open that space over on Substack
This week, I wrote the deeper reflection behind this letter, the part about what it really means when it’s not just one thing that breaks a woman, but years of carrying more than anyone could see.
Read the deeper reflection here: Create Your Own Story.
Scripture for the Soul
“I have seen all the works that are done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.” Ecclesiastes 1:14
There is a kind of striving that looks productive from the outside but feels empty on the inside. You can build, achieve, produce, perform, and keep proving, yet still feel like you’re chasing something that never truly satisfies. This verse doesn’t condemn work, purpose, or ambition. It exposes the ache of building from striving instead of truth, and it invites us to ask whether what we’re chasing is actually leading us closer to God, closer to ourselves, and closer to the life we’re called to live.
Three places to start
1. Name what you’ve been carrying.
Maybe you’ve been carrying the pressure to keep everyone else okay. Maybe you’ve been carrying grief while trying to function like nothing has changed. Maybe you’ve been carrying an old identity because the people around you still know how to relate to that version of you.
When something has been heavy for long enough, you stop calling it heavy.
You call it life. You call it leadership. You call it being a good wife, a good mother, a good daughter, a good friend, a good Christian, a good entrepreneur, a good woman.
2. Tell the truth about what it’s costing you.
If over-functioning is costing you your health, that matters. If carrying everything is costing you your relationships, that matters. If proving yourself is costing you your peace, that matters. If the business you built for freedom has become another place where you measure your worth, that matters too.
Staying in the same pattern is not neutral. It is shaping who you become next.
3. Decide who is no longer allowed to lead your next season.
The version of you who proves for love doesn’t get to lead. The version of you who carries everything because she’s afraid to be supported doesn’t get to lead. The version of you who confuses pressure with purpose doesn’t get to lead.
You can honor her without obeying her.
Points to Ponder
- What have I been carrying for so long that I stopped questioning whether it was mine to hold?
- What is staying in this pattern costing me in my body, relationships, peace, confidence, calling, or relationship with God?
- Who am I becoming if I keep rebuilding my life from the same old version of myself?
This is why I created The Becoming…
If this letter is hitting on something you’ve been feeling but haven’t known how to say, I want to invite you into The Becoming…
The Becoming… is the 8-week guided audio and journal experience I created for the woman who is ready to stop circling the same patterns and begin rebuilding who she is from the inside out.
This is where we do the deeper work of looking at your mindset, limiting beliefs, strengths, passions, vision, goals, communication, self-care, self-talk, fear, anxiety, confidence, and resilience through the lens of who you’re becoming now.
The Becoming… is for the woman who knows this is deeper than being tired.
It’s for the woman who’s done calling the same cycle “just a season.” It’s for the woman who’s ready to stop building from survival and start rebuilding from truth.
This Week on The Confident Woman Podcast
This week on The Confident Woman Podcast, I’m joined by Annie Yatch, CEO of Reinvention XO, creator of The Authority Shift, and a former counterterrorism analyst turned elite performance coach for high-level leaders, CEOs, and women who are ready to stop carrying it all.
Together, we talk about over-functioning, burnout, receiving, reinvention, and what happens when the strategies that used to work no longer fit the woman you’re becoming.
Listen to Episode 377: When You’re Tired of Carrying It All with Annie Yatch
One more thing, from me personally
I’ve also been paying closer attention to what my body needs in this season. Not just emotionally or spiritually, but physically too.
I’ve been personally using Beneve as part of how I’m supporting my energy, focus, metabolism, stress response, and overall wellness from the inside out.
If that’s something you’ve been looking for too, you can explore it here.
So, tell me.
What is staying the same costing you right now?
Hit reply and tell me. You don’t need the perfect words or the whole answer. Sometimes naming the cost is the first honest step.
XO,
P.S. If this made you think of a woman who keeps saying she’s fine while carrying more than anyone sees, forward this to her. She may not have words for it yet, but she may recognize herself when she reads it.
Whenever you’re ready, here’s where to go next:
I Am… Enough: The Identity Reset For the woman who feels lost, exhausted, disconnected, or unsure of who she is anymore. Ten minutes to pause, name what she’s been believing, and come back to what’s true. → Start your reset
The Becoming… For the woman who knows this is deeper than one hard season and is ready to rebuild her identity, confidence, mindset, vision, and life from the inside out. → Begin here
Beneve For the woman who wants to support her body, energy, focus, metabolism, stress response, and overall well-being as she creates a healthy, sustainable lifestyle from within. → Explore here